Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM!

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM now severely upsets, rather than settles, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your SORRY OLD ASS

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me. ... Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his
employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building
business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his
extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to
retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his
good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a
personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy
workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate
way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect
the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is
your house," he said, "my gift to you." The carpenter was shocked!
What a shame! If he had only known he was building his
own house, he would have done it all so differently.

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time,often
putting less than our best into the building. Then with a shock we
realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could
do it over, we'd do it much differently. But we cannot go back.

You are the carpenter. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board,
or erect a wall. "Life is a do-it-yourself project," someone has
said. Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build the
"house" you live in tomorrow. Build wisely!

Remember... Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've
never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching.